INFJs are known for their deep introspection, empathy, and desire to make a meaningful impact in the world. But one of the most striking traits of the INFJ personality is their tendency to believe they can handle everything on their own. This inclination toward self-reliance might seem admirable on the surface, but it can sometimes lead to isolation or even burnout. So, why does an INFJ always think that they can do anything alone? Understanding the psychology behind this mindset can help unravel the complexities of their inner world and offer insights into how they navigate relationships and challenges.
The INFJ Personality: A Brief Overview
INFJ is one of the 16 Myers-Briggs personality types. It stands for Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Judging. This unique combination of traits creates a person who is deeply in touch with their emotions and values, yet often prefers solitude to recharge. INFJs tend to be idealistic, thoughtful, and driven by a desire to help others.
Despite their strong empathy and desire to support those around them, INFJs often struggle with accepting help. This can be confusing, especially since they are typically warm and caring individuals. So, what leads them to think they must do everything by themselves?
The Root Causes of INFJ Self-Reliance
1. Deep Inner World and Self-Reflection
One of the most defining features of INFJs is their rich inner world. They spend a great deal of time reflecting on their thoughts, emotions, and goals. This constant introspection can create a sense of self-sufficiency, as they feel that they have all the answers within themselves. Their ability to process complex emotions and situations internally often leads them to believe that external input is unnecessary.
2. Desire for Control and Perfection
INFJs are often perfectionists, and they have high standards for themselves. They believe that they can accomplish tasks more effectively on their own because they know exactly how things should be done. This desire for control can stem from their fear of imperfection or failure. When they rely on others, there’s a risk that things won’t meet their expectations, which can create stress or frustration.
3. Fear of Burdening Others
INFJs are highly empathetic and attuned to the feelings of others. They don’t want to impose on people or be seen as a burden. As a result, they may feel guilty asking for help, even when they need it. This stems from their deep sense of responsibility for others’ well-being, which can sometimes lead them to take on too much themselves in order to avoid inconveniencing anyone.
4. The Need for Independence
As introverts, INFJs value their independence. They cherish solitude and the time they can spend alone to recharge. While this doesn’t mean they don’t enjoy companionship, they often feel more comfortable managing tasks by themselves. Relying on others may feel like a loss of autonomy, which can be unsettling for them.
5. Mistrust of Others’ Abilities
Though INFJs are naturally empathetic and often put others’ needs first, they can sometimes become disillusioned with people’s abilities. If they’ve been let down in the past or witnessed others not living up to their expectations, INFJs may start to believe that relying on others will only lead to disappointment. This skepticism can reinforce their tendency to go it alone, even when it’s not necessary.
How INFJs Can Overcome the Need for Complete Self-Reliance
1. Recognize That Asking for Help is a Strength
INFJs need to remember that asking for help doesn’t make them weak or incapable; in fact, it can be a sign of emotional intelligence. Reaching out to others can foster deeper connections and provide opportunities for growth and collaboration.
2. Embrace the Imperfection of Others
Perfectionism can be a barrier to teamwork and collaboration. INFJs should try to embrace the imperfections of others and understand that not everything needs to be done according to their specific standards. When they let go of the need for total control, they can open themselves up to the strengths of others.
3. Trust in Relationships
INFJs must learn to trust that their loved ones genuinely want to help and support them. While it’s true that not everyone will always meet their expectations, most people are willing to step in when needed. By trusting others more, INFJs can create stronger bonds and alleviate some of the burdens they’ve been carrying alone.
4. Set Boundaries and Communicate Needs Clearly
INFJs may hesitate to ask for help because they fear it will inconvenience others. However, clear communication about their needs and setting healthy boundaries can help them manage their responsibilities without feeling overwhelmed. Asking for assistance when necessary doesn’t mean they’re imposing it means they’re taking care of their mental and emotional health.
How Others Can Support an INFJ
If you know an INFJ and want to help them, it’s essential to approach them with understanding. INFJs may not always ask for help, but they often need it. Here are some ways you can support them:
- Offer help gently: Instead of directly offering assistance, which they may decline, offer solutions or suggest support in a way that feels comfortable for them.
- Reassure them: Let them know that it’s okay to rely on others and that they don’t have to carry the weight of the world alone.
- Respect their boundaries: INFJs may need time alone to recharge. Respecting their space while offering your presence when they’re ready can make a significant difference.
Conclusion
The belief that they can do anything alone is a deeply ingrained trait in many INFJs, driven by their introspective nature, desire for perfection, and fear of burdening others. While this self-reliance can be a strength, it’s essential for INFJs to recognize the value in collaboration and accepting help. By learning to trust others and letting go of the need for control, they can forge deeper connections and experience a more balanced life. If you’re an INFJ, try to embrace the support of those around you it’s okay to lean on others when needed. And if you know an INFJ, offering gentle support and understanding can help them realize that they don’t always have to go it alone.
